I'm on a roll - wrote, published, and then came back and deleted two posts this week. The more people I find out read this, the more the ease of writing disappears. Being honest - I wasn't ever really planning on people reading this blog. But I slowly noticed quite a few more readers here and there, so I put a little more effort into making it look presentable. A few months later and I can't say I'm into this whole readership thing. It just feels weird to me. I often try to block it from my mind when I post, but it's working less and less. I suppose I've just gotten self conscious about updating people on our relatively mundane life and typing out partial thoughts that have no real conclusion to them. Just re-evaluating things...
And these thoughts are stemming a bit more from where Brian and I are at in life. This has been the most stable six months we've had since we've been married, and now that we don't currently have seemingly insurmountable obstacles facing us, we've been talking about our intentions for life and where we should be heading. We've been cleaning house of sorts - selling a bunch of "extra" in our lives, getting rid of cable, and reading a whole lot more.
We're not too far from paying off the last of debt we owe. We've talked about buying a house, but haven't quite settled on what purpose we want it to serve. We see the value of the financial investment of a home, and therefore would want to buy a house that would be a decent asset. On the other hand we feel pulled to live among those who need Christ the most - we see it as a worthy investment of our lives - just not on the $$ side of things. Not that the two are comparable, but there is some cohesion between being financially responsible and yet wreckless for the cause of Christ - and we're trying to find what that looks like for us. We also really appreciate our landlord, and see the value and freedom of not owning a house at all. So, we're looking around, praying, and seeing what the summer brings.
As crazy as it may seem, we're also talking about starting a home study with the foresight of what we're praying will be child number three. We're half waiting until we are out of debt and half waiting on the house decision - since both will play out as significant factors in the end. Whether the home study goes in the direction of foster care or adoption, we haven't quite landed on that one. We're open to both with the hopes of adopting either way.
Brian is and has been considering grad school for sometime. Hoping it works for him to hop on that train soon, but it has to land in balance with all other pending commitments. In the mean time I'm considering a fun little gig over on Etsy. Brian has pushed me towards an independent website for this blog and to set up a shop there, but self promotion is the opposite of my forte, sooooooo, not so likely going to happen. Also, it's another commitment of my time I want to be really sure of.
And that's that. A little blog reevaluating, a little life reevaluating - pretty much the same thing. And I'll be back around here. I haven't abandoned all hope of this lovely little outlet of mine.