April 2, 2013

Awkwardness

Awkwardness seems to be a pervasive force in life that follows me around and only presents itself when I've just summed up enough courage to do something I wouldn't normally do. I'd like to think this is true of everyone and while we label something as awkward it really is normal. If I'm thinking wishfully and you've never been haunted by awkwardness probably just don't tell me.

My sister, Jaci, and I FaceTime several times a week with a few intermittent texts of frustrated outbursts at life's quandaries. The random texts are always the door to our next conversation, and somehow the subject of awkwardness made it's way into a said outburst which then made it's way into a following conversation and it's never really left the conversation as a whole. It seems she is plagued with equal amounts of surprise attacks from awkwardness as I am - most likely because she's my sister.

Jaci was the first to bring a complaint against awkwardness. It had crept into a totally normal situation and left her speechless and feeling mostly like an idiot. We discussed whose to blame for awkward encounters and why they had to exist at all. Are we really that awkward of people? Are other people really that awkward? Or is awkwardness really some kind of spirit that blindsides all parties involved? Whatever it is/was, it doesn't seem to be going away anytime too soon. 

In our pursuit to be people who have conquered the virtues of grace and dignity (true goals of ours) we ultimately decided that awkwardness should and can be ignored. That sometimes pretending it isn't there and continuing on our way is the best course of action. Rising above it, if you will. If we can't explain it's presence it shouldn't be allowed to control outcomes. Needless to say, it's an art we're still fine tuning. 

Of course openly admitting awkwardness is always a good second option. We've determined it runs the risk of creating more awkwardness and therefore should be used with discretion. 

And should all else fail, and should our senses be more alert, it's always helpful to gracefully exit a situation as we sense the awkwardness approaching. This one is a hard line to follow because while it is a potential skill, it also lends it's hand to laziness and the conquering of awkwardness altogether will never happen if it's used too often. 

In the chance that the awkwardness is completely emitting from the other person, we count it another form of learned graciousness to extinguish their feelings of uncomfortableness and not allow the awkwardness to rest on them as part of their person. It's a true gift to give to someone - one we wished more people would bestow upon us. 

As we talk through all our theories of awkwardness we never fail to recount the weeks miserably awkward happenings and thoroughly dissect what went wrong. Not that we ever really care why something went awry; it's just thoroughly comforting to have someone to laugh with about it. A little reassurance we aren't totally out of the social ball park. 

In the end, we both find great contentment that we have overcome the awkwardness of FaceTime, and if that is all we ever conquer when it comes to the subject awkwardness we'll be ok with that. 

    

Because you know you wanted to share in all the awkwardness......


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