April 10, 2012

Knowing what would have been.....

  I'm sure Brian will be posting soon on the latest curve ball we got thrown. The short version is that our car literally broke and is now gone forever, but like I said - more on that later. I've been wanting to post for awhile now on something we DO have and are so grateful for. This little girl:

  With all the losses our little family has endured, not a day goes by that I don't thank God that He chose to give us Rori. I often think back to the accident I was in last August and how clearly God's hand was on Rori in sparing her life. With how severe the accident was I really wasn't expecting them to find a heartbeat in that emergency room. Even the nurse cried when she told my mom they had found the baby's heartbeat.
  And now, seven months later, we have her here and I am grateful for her every day. Had we lost her in the accident I know she would have always been on my mind. Her due date would have come and I would have wondered what it would have been like to meet her. Days would have passed and I would have imagined what it would have been like to care for her and watch her grow. I would have wondered what kind of person she would grow up to be and what joy she would have brought to our lives.
   But I don't have to wonder. I have her here, I know her, and I get to cherish her every day. And I don't take that for granted. I get to know and live "what would have been" and to recognize that is overwhelming at times. As I sit and play with Rori, change her diapers, and watch her sleep, I realize that this is it. This is what I would have wondered about and longed for. It's right here in front of me. A beautiful, healthy baby girl is here for me to hold. I soak that in every day. And every night when I lay her in her crib I thank God that He has allowed her to be in our lives and I ask Him to continue to protect His little girl.

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.
                                                                                            James 1:17

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post. It's so easy to always think about what we don't have....I wonder why sometimes it's so hard to focus on what we have been given.